I really don’t want to do these final projects. Both due tomorrow. Both huge parts of my grade for this semester. I. Don’t. Wanna. I want to sleep and eat and blog and look up hot people that will never ever speak to me. I want to think about how I lost you and drink for fun because I deserve a beer and yell out my window at the couples holding hands. I want to go out and take someone home. I want to stop missing you. I want to sing karaoke with the homeless guy outside my building and buy him a hot chocolate. I want to wake up and I want it to be Thursday. Skip to the end. I don’t want to do this anymore
I need your opinion. I was seeing this girl who I really liked and we hooked up, fell for each other and then she went away for university. We didn't try to do long distance but we still talk often and she comes home often and we hang out like nothing's changed. But when she's away she's hooking up with other people. She knows how I feel and it's so hard for me, but I just want her to be happy. Meanwhile there's a 21 year old chatting me up (I'm 18) and I can't stop thinking about my other girl.
I know it’s tough to think about someone else when your heart is basically on reserve. It’s even harder because the person you’ve essentially “reserved” it for is also seeing other people. But you must understand, college is a weird place. It’s lonely and lovely all at once, and you feel the most freedom you’ve ever felt. She’s probably a little high off that right now. All I can suggest for you is to follow your gut. Your gut usually knows what your heart wants and needs. Trust yourself to make a decision that will be best for you. At the end of the day, you’ve got to take care of yourself.